Family
Care for Elderly Parents
Fundamental
changes in society often produce role conflict. For instance, the past several decades
have witnessed a dramatic shift in the age structure of American society. More people are
living into their 80s and 90s, but at the same time couples are having fewer children.
That is, the American family is expanding vertically (more generations living per family)
and shrinking horizontally (fewer individuals per generation). Thus, as life expectancy
increases, fewer siblings are around to share in caring for elderly parents.1
Many more
people than ever before are having to cope with the burden of caring for elderly parents
in addition to the usual demands of work and family. The typical pattern is that sons
offer financial assistance, and daughters and daughters-in-law (particularly women in
their 40s, 50s, and 60s) provide the time-consuming, hands-on care.
More than 6
million elderly Americans now need help with such everyday basics as getting out of bed,
eating, dressing, bathing, and using the bathroom.2 An
estimated 80% of informal care for frail elders is provided by family caregivers. Many
elderly parents end up moving in with their children.3
Much
attention has been paid to the fact that adult female children may be caught between the
responsibilities of providing care to their frail parents or parents-in-law while
simultaneously taking care of their own dependent children. A survey by the Travelers
Corporation in 1985 found that, even then, about one out of every five female employees
over the age of 30 was providing some care to an elderly parent.4
These caretaking responsibilities can last 10 years or more.
However,
recent research suggests that the problem of conflicting responsibilities may not be as
common as once thought.5 For instance, as life
expectancy increases, caregiving responsibilities should begin at later stages for adult
children, reducing the possibility of competing demands on the caregiver from older and
younger generations. By the time elderly parents become frail, chances are that a
caregiver's own children will be grown and hence less dependent.6
Nevertheless,
for those who are caught between conflicting role obligations, time and energy spent
caring for elderly parents often comes at the expense of other family or occupational
roles. Many women who provide care to elderly parents are forced to spend less time with
their husbands and children. The resulting resentment and frustration may ultimately
threaten the structure of family life.
Although
unpaid family leave is now available to many workers, the demands of caring for a frail
elderly parent force some women to make hard choices. They either have to reduce or stop
work or have to find professionalóand costlyóinstitutional care. Some have had to switch
to part-time work, pass up promotions, or quit their jobs altogether. A study by the
American Association of Retired Persons estimated that 14% of all part-time adult female
workers had left their full-time jobs because of caregiving responsibilities. Of those not
employed but who once had jobs, 27% had taken early retirement or simply quit.7
These sorts
of decisions often produce feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and resentment. A woman who quit
her job to care for her mother, who had developed Alzheimer's disease, echoes the thoughts
of many: